


Shadow Man

by AllTimePhan73



Series: Jacksepticeye Ego One Shots [18]
Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye
Genre: Bullying, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-20 04:19:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16548770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllTimePhan73/pseuds/AllTimePhan73
Summary: If I told you what I wasWould you turn your back on me?And if I seemed dangerousWould you be scared?I get the feeling just becauseEverything I touch isn’t dark enoughThat this problem lies in me





	Shadow Man

Jack had always been a reject. He wouldn't fit in with the other children and would often hide away from them. He much preferred to sit in the corner on his own with a book and his drawing pencils. The other children sometimes teased him and laughed at him. Whilst everyone was making friends and having fun, Jack was just drawing. Always drawing. His drawings were creepy but it wasn't like anyone had ever looked at them. If they did, they'd see shadows and blood. They'd see that Jack had harshly pressed the pencil into the paper, so hard that it had almost broken through to the other side.

At primary school he tried to fit in but, by then, he had been identified as the local weirdo. No one would even come within a few metres of him unless they really had to. One person dared to sit with him one time and asked to see his drawing.

_Ever since I could remember_  
_Everything inside of me_  
_Just wanted to fit in_

He lifted up the arm that had been covering half of it. The girl's eyes widened and she ran. Jack had only drawn the monsters he saw in his nightmares. They weren't as scary when drawn as they were when they were chasing him through his dreams.

_I was never one for pretenders_  
_Everything I tried to be_  
_Just wouldn't settle in_

"You draw monsters, don't you?" A boy asked, towering over Jack. Jack glanced up at him with bloodshot eyes, gripping his sketchbook against his chest. "It's because you're a monster too, isn't it? You don't belong in this world," The boy shoved Jack harshly, making him stumble backwards into the wall behind him. He scraped his elbow but that was the last thing he was worrying about in that moment. His heart was beating fast inside his chest but he had felt more fear before.

_If I told you what I was_  
_Would you turn your back on me?_  
_And if I seemed dangerous_  
_Would you be scared?_  
_I get the feeling just because_  
_Everything I touch isn't dark enough_  
_That this problem lies in me_

He had felt more fear in his nightmares. He could survive one stupid bully. "Freak." Hand clenching into a fist, Jack raised his arm and threw a punch at the bully.

He had had enough.

Something took over Jack's body. He was watching a movie in a point-of-view shot, unable to stop himself as he continued to send punches flying towards the other child. He could see the blood trailing down from his nose but he didn't stop. No one could call him a freak. No one could ignore him. No one could tease him.

_I'm only a man with a candle to guide me_  
_I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me_  
_A monster! A monster! I've turned into a monster!_  
_A monster! A monster! And it keeps getting stronger!_

The boy was crying and begging Jack to stop but he didn't: he couldn't. He was watching his body move on its own until the boy had fallen to the floor, sobs shaking his body.

Jack finally gained control again, looking down at his hands. His right hand was covered in the other child's blood. He stumbled backwards before taking off into a run.

These moments (Jack called them dissociative moments) didn't stop happening; if anything, they happened at a higher frequency. He couldn't help himself.

_Can I clear my conscience?_  
_If I'm different from the rest?_  
_Do I have to run and hide?_

Jack was gripping a bar of soap in his hand, rubbing it roughly against his arm. It was covered in blood and he needed to get it all off before his mum got home. He was crying and could taste the salty tears as they dripped into his open mouth. He was trembling, his arms turning red as he continued to rub the soap against his arm repeatedly. He rinsed it under the sink but his arm was just as red, just out of irritation rather than due to the blood of the boy.

_I never said that I want this_  
_This burden came to me_  
_And it's laid its home inside_

His hands found their way into his hair and he pulled, eyes scrunched shut. He had turned into a monster. He had never thought about hurting anyone before but it was like someone else had taken over his body.

_If I told you what I was_  
_Would you turn your back on me?_  
_And if I seemed dangerous_  
_Would you be scared?_  
_I get the feeling just because_  
_Everything I touch isn't dark enough_  
_That this problem lies in me_

"Jack, calm down, please. Tell me what happened?" Young Jack stared at his mum through wide, frightened eyes. Tears were still falling down his cheeks, even though his mum didn't seem angry. She seemed worried more than anything. "What's wrong?"

"I didn't mean to, mum..." Jack whispered, his voice trembling just as much as his body was. "He- He was being mean."

"What did you do, Jack? I won't be angry. I just want to understand."

"I beat him up. It was like someone had taken over my body. There was nothing I could do. So much blood..." Jack's mum wrapped him in a warm hug and let him sob into her shoulder.

_I'm only a man with a candle to guide me_  
_I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me_  
_A monster! A monster! I've turned into a monster!_  
_A monster! A monster! And it keeps getting stronger!_

"Did you hear what he did to Callum?" Someone whispered as Jack walked into the classroom, hugging his sketchbook as if it was an item that provided him comfort. He didn't meet anyone's eyes as he took his seat at the back of the classroom, alone. Just as he was about to take his bag off, the teacher called him to the front of the class again.

More whispers. He bit his lip and approached the teacher. "We think you should sit on your own for a while."

"I sit on my own." Jack replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

The teacher slowly shook her head. "In another classroom with just a teacher. I have some work for you."

Everyone was staring at him and he knew it.

"What?!" He yelled, turning around. Sure enough, everyone's eyes were focused on him. He was trembling violently as he lost control again. "Stop staring at me! He started it!"

"Jack, please calm down. No one was-" The teacher held out her hand to place it on his shoulder but he shook it off. He let out a tiny noise that almost resembled a growl before running out of the classroom. He didn't want to think about what he would have done had he not got his control back in time.

His mum found him hours later, hugging his legs underneath a tree in the forest and rocking back and forth. He had tears streamed down his cheeks and didn't say a word as she helped him up and took him home.

_I'm only a man with a candle to guide me_  
_I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me_  
_A monster! A monster! I've turned into a monster!_  
_A monster! A monster! And it keeps getting stronger_

Jack got expelled. Multiple times. Not a single school wanted him so he simply gave up trying to get an education. That's how he ended up becoming a deviant of society with his partner. The person that lashed out when he was a kid became who he was. He demanded people called him by his preferred name. Not Jack. _Anti_. Anti was the opposite of who Jack had once been: an Anti-Jack. Anti kept a knife on his person at all times, so much that the knife became a signature weapon of his.

"What's this?" His partner, Dark asked. Anti swerved around to see Dark was clutching an old sketchbook. Anti rushed over and snatched it away from him.

"Nothing."

-

Anti flicked through the sketchbook to see all the drawings of the 'shadow man'. That was what he had named the monster when he first started to have the dreams at seven-years-old. The man looked the same on all of the pages and it made Anti wonder why he drew the same thing over and over again.

He reached the end and smiled a sick smile.

-

He threw the sketchbook into the roaring fire. He watched as the flames ate at the pages until it ceased to exist. Anti smiled, shoving his hands into his pockets and feeling for his knife. He pulled the weapon out and headed into the city.

It wasn't dark but light. Anti did his best to hide in the shadows so that he wouldn't be seen. It could be argued that, to a victim, he was nothing but a shadow of a man: a shadow man.


End file.
